I am crying I love this too much
Freeing the slave was nice, but wouldn’t be that huge of a thing.
Smashing the cups, though? I’m just imagining that Augustus was just walking along one day and saw the slave-owner trying to kill his slave, so he just goes over, tells the slave ‘yo, you’re free’, and then, never breaking his gaze from the slaveowner, casually sweeps all the other cups off the shelf too.
It’s just such a wonderful little ‘fuck you’.
i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE
I imagine fuck her right in the pussy guy has like a whole bunch of monitors set up at his house and has like cameras set up all around areas near him and he sits watching and waiting for a news reporter and when he sees one he’s like “it’s go time” and puts on that one hoody and uses his secret underground tunnels to get there super fast